I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
