you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
