It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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