I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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