Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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