dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
