I feel like abortions should bother me more
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
