my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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