theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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