theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
