When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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