there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
