On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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