Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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