Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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