My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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