If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
