He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
