you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
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Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
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Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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