operation have a gay friend backfired
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
How does it feel to date your dad?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
