He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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