remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
