Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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