And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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