Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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