Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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