I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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