your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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