i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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