So drunk its hurt
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
