She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize