birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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