kristin has been a bad kristin
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
