No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We were destined to go to rehab together
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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