The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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