It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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