At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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