they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
