this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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