I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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