I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
