What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just high enough for therapy.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
