Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
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Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
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He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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