Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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