Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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