worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
