Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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