i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Randomize
