Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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