The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I can't put those talents on a resume
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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