I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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