your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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