No awkward lesbian experiences without me
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
