i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
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He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
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The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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