He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
