the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
