And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
