On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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