Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
