either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
