his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
