I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
