Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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