the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
