Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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