I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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