I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
