Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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