My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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