is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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