There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
