i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We left the knife in your bed.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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